1. Face the other person
  2. Look in the eyes of the other person (or look at a part of their face, like their nose, if eye contact is difficult).
  3. Use a good voice tone (not too loud or whiny).
  4. Use a good facial expression.
  5. Use good body posture (straight or relaxed).
  6. Use good listening skills.
  7. Ask for what you want.
  8. State the reason why you want it.
  9. Thank the other person if he or she agrees to the request.
  10. Suggest a compromise if he or she does not agree. If they agree to the compromise, say thank you.
  11. Ask the other person for a solution if he or she does not agree with the compromise. Say thank you if you agree with their solution.
  12. Suggest a different idea and keep negotiating if you don’t like the other person’s solution. If you need more time to think about a solution, ask for it. Also ask the other person when you can talk with him or her again.

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Adapted from University of Alaska Anchorage, Lesson Plans for Teaching Self-Determination, p. 53